Uncategorized Archives | New Dimensions

What is Tragedy?

August 30, 2018 By Daniel Davis Leave a Comment

Whether it is a fire, tsunami, or a school shooting, tragedy can come in many forms. A tragedy can be very disruptive both in our relationships and work as well as inside of us – in our thoughts, feelings, and behavior.

We can lose our home in a fire. The many complications of losing a home can create great hardship. We may have no safe place to sleep. We may have lost someone we love dearly to fire.

These complications of our life can be magnified by our internal reactions. We may lose sleep. Our attention may wander. Memories may flood our mind suddenly. We may react angrily for little reason.

Please watch this video by Janet Childs from the Center for Living with Dying about tragedy:

How Do You Resolve Grief? Do You Write In a Journal?

June 26, 2018 By Daniel Davis Leave a Comment

Writing is a great opportunity to privately express myself. I can journal words not another living soul reads.

There is great freedom in this practice. My language forms a bridge from ideas swimming around in my head to concrete language on paper. I like to use a pen and paper when writing.

Yet, sometimes if I am at the beach, I will use my iPhone to capture ideas in my notes section. Whatever form the writing takes helps me. When I write I am able to integrate the ideas that I write with the emotions I am experiencing about the subject.

Letter writing may be a lost art for many. I remember learning to write letters in school as a child. Now I text and write emails. I cannot remember the last time I sent someone a letter for personal reasons. I do send a birthday card occasionally.

Yet, a letter provides me with an opportunity to express important words that help me heal.

Please watch this video by Janet Childs about expressing grief by writing a letter:

What Do You Say When Someone Talks About Taking Their Life?

May 29, 2018 By Daniel Davis 1 Comment

On a warm July night in 1985, I drove to the Capital Drive in Movie Theater to watch “Mad Max Beyond Thunder Dome.”

I was 22 years old and had just graduated from West Valley College with my AA degree in French. My friend Arthur who was 33 years old had suggested that we see the film. I was saddened by my father’s death the year before, but I was hopeful about starting at San Jose State in the Fall as a transfer student.

On this July night, I parked next to the speaker at the drive in theater in my 1984 Toyota Pickup Truck and pulled it into the window of my truck.

Arthur and I chatted about West Valley College and the Oakland Raiders and Sammy Hagar. Arthur suddenly said when I get my check this month, I am going to get my gun out of the pawn shop and kill myself.

I was very angry at Arthur. I was outraged and insisted that he stop talking about it. Arthur kept talking about it, and I drove Arthur home before the movie ever started. I never told anyone what Arthur had said to me. I never spoke to Arthur again.

A month later, Arthur’s brother Bill called me and told me Arthur had killed himself with his shot gun. Bill asked me to be a pall bearer at Arthur’s funeral, and I accepted the honor.

It took me many years to accept what had happened. I felt grief as well as tremendous guilt over many years. My friend Arthur’s suicide was very painful for me.

I wish that I had known to ask someone knowledgeable about Arthur’s intentions to kill himself. I wish I had known what I could do.

Please watch this video by Janet Childs about what to say to someone who talks about taking their life:

NFL Football

January 31, 2017 By Daniel Davis Leave a Comment

I remember watching NFL football as a young kid. I loved watching quarterback Len Dawson play with the Kansas City Chiefs. I loved playing football in the grass and the mud with my friends. When I was able to play on a team, all the better. In the seventh grade, I played flag football and started at the center position, hiking the ball to the quarterback. The next year I was cut from the eighth grade team.

When I started Cupertino High School in the ninth grade, I was determined to make the team. I often played as hard as I could. I started the freshman football team on defense at Defensive Tackle. In the second game against Mountain View High School, I had a quarterback sack. I was defensive captain for the next week’s game. I was honored as one of the best Defensive Tackles, first team All-League player at my position. I was injured in later years and never played football another year on a high school team. Yet my experience was priceless. I learned a great deal about hard work, focus, discipline, motivation, and teamwork.

I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area in Northern California, USA, watching the Oakland Raiders win three World Championships and the San Francisco 49ers win five Super Bowls. I watched coaches like Bill Walsh and John Madden lead their teams with brilliance and class. I loved watching players like Ronnie Lott, because of his values. He would talk about how he loved his fellow players. I learned a great deal about life and success watching the NFL.

For many years, I have been learning about the brain and repetitive brain trauma. A very high percentage of players at the high school, college, and professional levels are effected. According to research cited by Dr. Daniel Amen, ninety-six percent of NFL players have brain damage and seventy-nine percent have CTE (Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy). Former NFL superstars such as Frank Gifford and Ken Stabler suffered from CTE. This condition of CTE causes memory loss, confusion as well as aggression, depression, suicidality, and later in life, dementia.

NFL players have been in the news for allegedly committing domestic violence and sexual assault. I have mixed feelings about football. It has taught me many great lessons. Yet, I can see that it is a violent and dangerous game in many ways. I feel fortunate to have played the game. I respect those men who play the game well, who live with integrity and honor.

Please watch this video by Manuel Costa about the life of an NFL Player:

What kind of attitude to you have?

May 10, 2016 By Daniel Davis Leave a Comment

“Sensation tells us something exists; thinking tells you what it is; feeling tells you whether it is agreeable or not; and intuition tells you (from where) whence it comes and where it is going,” writes Carl Jung.

Our attitude determines the direction and order of our psychological functions: sensation, thinking, feeling, and intuition. There are four attitudes: Introverted, Extraverted, Judging, and Perceiving. Each person who prefers introversion is primarily concerned with the inner world. Someone who prefers extraversion is oriented to events primarily in the outer world. Someone who prefers judging is oriented to the outer world in an organized and methodical way. One who prefers the perceiving attitude is open and free flowing with the outer world.

There are eight psychological types:

Extraverting sensation – People who prefer this type are primarily concerned with objective reality, with how things really are. Their constant pursuit is to “have sensations and enjoy them if possible,” says Jung.

Introverting sensation – Emma Jung (who preferred introvert sensation) described herself as being like a highly sensitized photographic plate. Every detail of a situation is observed and these can be recalled at will.

Extraverted thinking – People who prefer Extraverted Thinking are good at “solving problems, reorganizing businesses, clarifying issues, and sorting the grain from the chaff,” writes Anthony Stevens. They are often concerned with outer conditions – not theories or ideas.

Introverted Thinking – People who prefer Introverted Thinking show little interest in events that take place in the outer world but basically are concerned with ideas and theories. They want to understand impersonal and objective truth. They seek justice and value fairness.

Extraverted Feeling – People who prefer Extraverted Feeling value what is culturally acceptable. They are easy to get along with. They are able to read others and then respond by caring for others when possible.

Introverted Feeling – Those who prefer Introverted Feeling have a clear sense of their internal values and generally keep to themselves. They exert influence on others by embodying their internal values.

Extraverted Intuition – People who prefer Extraverted Intuition quickly see the possibilities in a given situation. They identify patterns and connections and seek to reshape their environment.

Introverted Intuition – Individuals who prefer Introverted Intuition focus on unconscious images, like dreams and visions. They have difficulty communicating about these images and may uses abstract symbols to explain their insights.

We all have different gifts that we bring to our families, marriages, workplace, and communities. The better we are able to see each other’s gifts and collaborate together, they more we are able to accomplish together. Understanding psychological types helps us to relate well and be successful. If we observe what we do, say, and think, we will be better students and workers. Who are you?

If you want an assessment to understand your psychological type, please consider contacting me at danieldavislmft@gmail.com. Also, please watch this video by Gretchen Sterenberg on note making:

May I have your attention, please?

April 19, 2016 By Daniel Davis Leave a Comment

“Your focus is your reality,” says Yoda. What we put our attention on has an enormous impact on our life. It seems that now things are competing for our attention more than ever. We can sit watching television with over 1000 channels available. Then, I can pick up my iPhone and look at my email, Facebook, news from thousands of sources, YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, and much more. All this distraction is important to the quality of our lives.

What is attention? The word, attention, originates in the Latin word, attendere. This means to reach toward, connecting us with the world, shaping and defining. Our attention works like a muscle. If we sit on the couch and do nothing, our muscles get weaker and do not grow; they atrophy. If we get off the couch and play soccer, we build muscle. Over time our legs can get big and very strong.

We live in an era when we receive many messages every day, by text, email, Facebook, or iPhone (voice). According the Nielson, the average American teen sends 3,339 text every month. Ninety four percent of American teens go online daily. Twenty-four percent go online “almost constantly.”

“Children today are more attuned to machines and less to people than has ever been true in human history,” writes Daniel Goleman. Each time a child talk with someone or watching others have a conversation, they are impacted. The social and emotional circuitry of a child’s brain is influenced by these social interactions all day long – at home, school, athletic practice, music rehearsal, or work.

One can see teens often watching movies while they are on their iPhones. They split their attention between two or more things at once. Unfortunately, our attention is a narrow and fixed pipeline. Our attention is not stretchable. If we split our attention, we are required to switch our attention from one thing to another thing and back again. This switching of attention drains our energy. We have more difficulty focusing in a concentrated way.

Our online lifestyle is shaping our physical brains. Children and teenagers are also playing many digital games on iPad, laptop computer, television, and iPhone. Around 8 percent of children and teens between 8 and 18 appear to be addicted to computer games. When we study the brains of these young people addicted to computer games, we see that their brains appear in some ways similar to alcoholics and drug abusers.

Our ability to relate well to others is very important in our success at work as well as our quality of life. In order to form healthy relationships with others, we need to build rapport. It is a process of give and take. We talk and exchange ideas. The better we communicate, the more solid the relationship. When I have good attention, I am able to focus on what you are saying.

Yet we are constantly bombarded with messages, emails, posts on Facebook, YouTube videos, and texts. At a romantic dinner out, we are too often diverted from connecting with one other. I am amazed how often, I see people on their iPhones at an expensive restaurant. Yet everywhere we are tempted by the call of our mobile devise. We must be reminded by commercials and billboards, do not text and drive. Even though, we can die because of our distraction, we choose to risk our life and the lives of others to text while driving!

Distraction has become a great problem in our social interaction. In Silicon Valley, where I live, companies have workplaces have banned laptop computers, iPhones, and tablet computers from company meetings.

When we develop our ability to focus, we are steady in a crisis. When we experience the fear or frustration that comes during times of stress, we are able to stay focused on what is important. Students inevitably will experience difficulties during a semester. Yet some students are able to do their homework and concentrate on their exams. Others find many ways to avoid what is important, because they are upset.

At a party, often you can see how focus works. Some people can carry on a conversation with music at a high volume, focusing on the words of the person with whom they are talking. Another person may be overwhelmed with all the distractions around them – music, people, and things – unable to focus in on listening to the person with whom they are having a conversation.
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This ability to focus is a hidden key to our doing things well. It is our ability to focus that enables us to find our way when we experience emotional crisis, relationships challenges, or whatever problems what life presents to us.

Anima and Animus

April 12, 2016 By Daniel Davis Leave a Comment

Have you ever been carried away with a mood? We can be swept away with our emotions and thoughts. A mood can come over us, and we may look back and think, “I just wasn’t myself today.”

One way to think about these emotional storms is that there is a psychological benefit to these reactions. Carl Jung identified the animus and anima as parts of ourselves that erupt and interfere with our relationships and work. A woman has an animus, and a man has an anima. June Singer writes that “anima and animus are those unconscious part of ourselves that carry the mystery of sex which is not ours.”

How we identify with our masculine gender role or feminine gender role can vary greatly from one culture to another. It is obvious that there are – in fact – differences between men and woman. Whether these differences are more psychological or physical is debatable as well as complex. Yet it is obvious that men and women are different.

These differences show up in our dreams and fantasies. The anima shows up in a man’s dreams as an image of a woman, whereas the animus shows up in a woman as an image of a man. This is because the anima and animus are related to what is the opposite of our conscious attitude. When we mature, we develop the opposite attitude to what we cling to in our youth. “Men have dared to discover their vulnerability and their feeling side, while women – more confident now of their strengths – are beginning to take risks which would have frightened them before,” writes June Singer.

Animus is defined as a “usually prejudiced and often spiteful or malevolent ill will” or a “strong feeling of dislike or hatred.” Aminus is the masculine form of the word soul in latin. Yet the animus is not as much masculinity repressed as it is the unconscious other that a woman is prevented from being in her daily life. The part of herself that is furthest from her waking life is what makes up a woman’s animus.

Carl Jung describes the animus as a strange passivity. “In the depths of the woman’s being, the animus whispers: ‘You are hopeless. What’s the use of trying? There is no point in doing anything. Life will never change for the better.’”

When a woman is able to separate herself from her animus, she is able to see that part of herself objectively. She is able to be detached and just notice these negative thoughts and feelings. She does not fall into the false belief that these thoughts are her thoughts. When she simply observes these thoughts and realizes that her response to them makes all the difference, she is able to main a healthy detachment.

A woman’s animus assists her in becoming a complete person by shifting repressed energy into active and creative pursuits. The animus does have negative qualities such as “brutality, recklessness, empty talk, and silent, obstinate evil ideas.” Yet the animus also has a positive and valuable side. The animus can “build a bridge to the Self through creative activity.”

For a man, the anima, represents his unconscious feminine other. The anima symbolically represents the eternal feminine. For a woman, the animus represents her unconscious masculine. Conversely, the animus stands for the eternal masculine. Robert Johnson writes that the “anima and the animus function most effectively for us as mediators between the conscious and unconscious parts of personality.”

When one learns to work with the animus or anima, one discovers a certain kind of genius within oneself. Please watch is short video by Judith Peterson on the animus and learn how to work with this energy to improve how you feel, behave, and feel:

What is Courage?

April 5, 2016 By Daniel Davis Leave a Comment

“I, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, do solemnly swear . . .”

as I am running with my children headed toward Eleanor and dinner awaiting us at our summer home in Canada.

Later in the evening after dinner, I am not feeling well and retire to bed for the evening. I will never walk again without leg braces. I am privileged to descend into a crucible – an unspeakable mystery –

“that I will faithfully execute the office of the President”

Floating in a pool of healing water in Warm Springs, Georgia, on a lovely spring day – opening my eyes, I can see white puffy clouds set in a vibrant blue sky. I can hear screams of play and laughter of children, touched by polio as my life has. We are all experiencing the grace of weightlessness – no up, nor down; no left, nor right.

I once held positions as New York State Senator as well as Assistant Secretary of the Navy during the war to end all wars.
Now I show these children how to face polio and all its likely shame and terror. Right here at Warm Springs, we travel together, as I did years earlier, to find a way to freedom through nature, work, humor, and love. The power I have come to know from the bitter journey from lifeless paralysis and hiding in humiliation to courageously overcoming infirmity through ecstasy and love. Heavenly as floating may be as a regular citizen . . .

“. . . of the United States of America . . .”

I choose to return to my former occupation as a political leader, knowing well the slings and arrows of grave misfortune that befall men of prominence and stature. I will wholeheartedly . . .

“and will to the best of my ability preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States. . .”

in a time of unfathomable darkness – 25% of workers unemployed, all banks closed in almost all the states, and much of our national wealth evaporated in a devastating financial crash.
Yet the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

“So help me God.”

C.G. Jung wrote: “Only those people who really can touch bottom can truly be human.”

Please watch this video by creative writing professor, Nils Peterson, on the two secrets of writing poetry:

Do you have a faith that works?

March 28, 2016 By Daniel Davis Leave a Comment

“Thoroughly unprepared, we take the step into the afternoon of life. Worse still, we take this step with the false presupposition that our truths and our ideals will serve us as hitherto. But we cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of life’s morning, for what was great in the morning will be little at evening and what in the morning was true, at evening will have become a lie.” Quote by Carl Jung

Our lives have different eras. What was true when we are young is a lie at midlife. When we are young our lives are focused on educating ourselves, obtaining work, and finding love. These are the appropriate tasks of our early life. We may get married and have children.

Our initial experience of religion is often about certainty. It creates meaning about being a separate individual. If we practice the correct rituals and believe the correct rules – dogma – then we will be saved. Someone translates other people’s experience of God. Yet this level of religion does not change the consciousness of the person. It is all about me – saving myself. This level of spirituality consoles the self and this is needed. It defends us. The problem is that we can use this type of religion to not become a more loving person. I can justify our self-centeredness.

Spirituality can also be transformative. As a young person we need to develop our ego boundaries by separating from our parents. We need to leave home psychologically and develop an identity of our own. We need to distinguish our values from those of our parents and friends. It is important to have meaningful work to do.

About 35 to 45, we reach midlife. Jung called this the afternoon of life. We have the opportunity to grow into a deeper consciousness not possible in our younger years. Richard Rohr says: “This process of transformation does not fortify the separate self, but utterly shatters it. Not consolation but devastation. Not entrenchment, but emptiness. Not complacency, but explosion. Not comfort, but revolution. In short – not a conventional bolstering of my usual consciousness, but a radical transmutation and transformation at the deepest seat of consciousness itself.” Our transformation comes indirectly, “catching us off guard and out of control. We have to be empty instead of full.”

Richard Rohr goes on to say: “The lust for certitude. The lust for answers the last 500 years of the Western Church has not served us well. Once we lost our spirituality of darkness for light, there just wasn’t as much room for growth any more. Everything was . . . words.”
Our journey of spirituality inevitable leads inward. There are many paths on this inward spiritual journey, but they all lead to an experience of the divine. This conscious knowing leads us outward again toward others. We are willing to risk vulnerability to join with others in intimacy. Our spirituality isn’t about looking good, but simply loving others. Please watch this video by Bob Epperly on centering prayer to discover one of many paths inward toward the center of our being:

Expressive Art Therapy

March 8, 2016 By Daniel Davis Leave a Comment

Blog 49 –

Creativity can save us. We suffer when we lose our sense of creativity. Our lives are full of opportunities to create. When we cook a meal, we are creating. When we build a fence, we are being creative. If I sing to music on my iPhone in the car, I am being creative. In our creativity, there is great promise. Being aware of the possibility of creativity can dramatically improve the quality of our life.

When we feel angry or afraid or shame, we can be creative. It is also true that I can be destructive. I can drink alcohol to excess. I could punch as wall. I may argue with someone that I love. I can yell at the driver of a passing car.

Another set of possibilities is to be creative. The artist’s work is to awaken all that is and all we perceive. Mathew Fox writes: “The artist first does this by waking up oneself to what is. Then he or she can awaken others. The artist finds himself or herself vulnerable to beings and events and takes the time to experience them in depth. In this way, we wake up to being, we awaken to what is and its great depth and mystery.”

When we are feeling overwhelm emotionally, we have the opportunity to wake up to a new reality. Daniel Siegel writes that “emotion is the process of integration that brings self-organization to the mind.”

When we are experiencing emotions, we can work creatively to integrate a larger reality – a wider view of life and the world. When Carl Jung was going through a difficult time in his life, he discovered something important. He found a way to calm himself by being creative. He built a small dwelling on a lake. Dr. Jung also make drawings and paintings when he was emotional. He also build a miniature village like he used to do as a child.

Carl Jung wrote: “Everything seemed difficult and incomprehensible. I was living in a constant state of tension; often I felt as if gigantic blocks of stone were tumbling down on me…. My enduring these storms was a question of brute strength…. To the extent that I managed to translate the emotions into images– that is to say, to find the images which were concealed in the emotions– I was inwardly calmed and reassured. Had I left those images hidden in the emotions, I might have been torn to pieces by them. There is a chance that I might have succeeded in splitting them off; but in that case I would inexorably have fallen into a neurosis and so been ultimately destroyed by them. As a result of my experiment I learned how helpful it can be, from the therapeutic point of view, to find the particular images which lie behind the emotions.”

Please watch this video by Judith Peterson on using art to see reality more clearly and feel better: